On Goal Setting

I've heard contrasting advice. Never post your goals publicly, its a surefire recipe for failure. Or, make your proclamation loud and proud. Hold yourself accountable to your audience.

I'm experimenting with a middle path that speaks to my nature. Discuss, share, explore, and make my goals part of my journey. There is no finish line. (stole that line from my gym's walls this morning) I recently heard a lovely podcast regarding the fear of death, and how it is revealed in the way we conduct our everyday life. I'll find that link, but not now. Right now I am writing. 15 minutes. Stream of thought. Timer on, music blasting. Does music help you write?

PHOTO CREDIT: UNSPLASH.COM

I've always listened to the booty bouncing, high energy, hip-hoppin, mega bass tunes for exercise. Missy Elliott gets me pumped. A friend recently shared that she listened to books on tape for her runs. I tested this out with my beloved Michael Stone podcasts. I had to switch back immediately. Running is all about the rhythm for me. I do need to carve out a space for listening to my podcasts for consistently. Working from home, I love avoiding the commute, but there is something valuable about that in-between space.

I posted a core meditation I practice on my website, and placing it there felt right, as it is a core part of my identity, as a professional, a yogi, a friend. Finding that in-between space in the breath fills my life with so much peace.

I wish for all beings to find peace, truth, and liberation.

Blog Facelift: Time for Change

PHOTO CREDIT: LUIS LLERENA VIA UNSPLASH.COM

When life rattles and shakes and rolls, I am thankful for the ability to roll with the punches. I attribute this grace to my yoga practice, which I was drawn to thanks to my early years in gymnastics. ( I also am a recent YNAB convert/pusher/lover. Finance is my new best friend. I'll add that to my list of blog topics to share soon!)

I love that yoga is a discipline, a practice, that is never complete. There is no trophy (on my path) or final destination. While enlightenment is a motivating goal for many, my teacher Michael Stone describes enlightenment as something we must seek in everyday life. This practice of daily, ethical mindfulness is a act of political activism. A radical act of caring for eachother, and this planet.

Today, I find myself in an empty space. A space full of potential, light and freedom. I seek these spaces in my life, and I rarely panic. The one time in my life when I felt out of control was the period of pregnancy and new motherhood. I accepted the gift of unemployment as a way to slow down and prepare for motherhood. I am now paying the wages of interest fees on that gift, but I have no regrets.

Freelance is a lifestyle that requires discipline, confidence, and creativity. Mortgage Bankers smile at you, while informing you that your income, your career is not quite valid enough to qualify for home ownership. As a student of astrology, it make sense that I am the earthy, grounded Taurus, able to keep my feet on the ground in such a windswept career. My life partner is a fiery Scorpio who is tethered to his job with the strongest sense of duty and work ethic I have ever witnessed.

YinSights

The yin aspect of yoga brought me head over heels into my practice. My initial once-weekly yang practice introduced me to the transformative power of yoga, but when I found my first yin teacher, I truly fell in love with yoga. [hmmm i think i am overdue some yin yoga photos... pretty much all yang]

Dealing with friends/family/students with a variety of skeleto-muscular issues, I constantly strive for more comprehensive knowledge of anatomy. Yoga Therapy is the way of the future. In Portland, Yoga Centers almost rival the ubiquitous coffee shop on every corner. One day, that type of knowledge and self empowerment could be as easy as a daily cup of jo. I truly believe that health is the next aspect of social revolution. Jesus and Buddha initiated religious transformation with the concept that every individual is capable of self-enlightenment or realization. When every person has control, or at least comprehensive understanding of their own true health, insurance companies will not be able to continue the type of stranglehold they maintain today.

Rod Stryker's article in the Summer Yoga International magazine sits with me daily this month. His reflection on dharma, and the goal of bodilessness as true health is truly piercing. I shared a quote with my Street Yoga clients last week, and I took it as a good sign that one of the students pulled out his pocket notebook and jotted down notes after class. Whether is was regarding asana or philosophy, I don't know... but I hope I aided in some clarity.

Points of Practice
Destiny and Desire | The four aims of life offer each of us a blueprint for fulfilling our unique potential in this world.
By Rod Stryker

*the article isn't available online, but I plan to recap my thoughts soon....

I have been subbing for my friend and fellow yogi, Leigh Drake as she completes Paul Grilley's 100hr Yin Yoga Teacher Training

This article looks particularly helpful, as just sitting in vajrasana is quite difficult for me. I don't experience any discomfort in my daily life (yet) but when I sit in this posture, I experience very uncomfortable sensation. I love the final closing of the article, "Remember, no pain, no pain!"

Love & Light

Feelin' Good

photo: abbytryagain

My garden has exploded! I feel like the entire city just BLOOMED while I was away! What a week of 85 degrees temps will do. Now all the roses are showing their colors, my collard greens are big enough for me to notice slug attacks, and the weeds are so so happy.

After a long and energetic vacation back home, I reveled in a silent house this morning. Roommates all scattered at their various jobs, I had a rare few hours with just myself and a quiet, overcast morning. While cleaning the kitchen, I popped out into the garden, dug in the herb garden, fed the chickens a few wilted tomatoes. Something about cleaning the kitchen creates this amazing space for my heart to really settle. I am a homemaker at heart. Whenever my inspiring bloggers share their heart's desire to be a wanderer, I am reminded of my longing for a little farm. My visions of family include goats, chickens, honeybees, and all kinds of rural adventures.

Something about clearing space in my home create space for soulful expression either by movement, writing, chanting, or meditation. This morning, the writing bug caught me, and several topics arose.

Ego, Yoga and Feeling Good
Release attachments to the shapes created within yoga asana. Asana means posture, which reminds us of the emphasis upon the spine. Without a long spine, and comfortable breath, we are not practicing yoga.
Remove the link to the ego, or individual self.
The breath is a messenger to our infinite self, revealing the connectedness between each and every one of us.

Value Assignments
Most of us do yoga to feel good, or look good...
We know that we will feel good after doing yoga, and we know that we might feel bad while doing it, so bad we might want to quit, walk out, never come back.... but we don't. We Stay.
We have been told that "Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body"
Look past this conditioning. Remove the value assignments. There is no feeling good or feeling bad... Just Feeling.



That being said, I love this song:
My Brightest Diamond "Feeling Good"
Dark Was the Night Compilation

Breathing through This Day

Hello. Today is a hard day for me. Forgetsies, Dropsies, grumpy pants. These days happen. Fortunately I can remember what it feels like to be bright, confident and assured. Fortunately I have incredible teachers in my life that I can look forward to breathing with, and absorbing their wisdom. I plod through a frustrating day, and feel completely ineffective, poor, and lost. While I read about my adventurous Acro Yoga teacher rock climbing in Spain, taking coastal trains and delving into markets, cafes, parks and rooftops, I wish for a bit more freedom. But then I see an email about Northwest Herbalism training. Which costs money. And what about Ayurveda? What am I supposed to do next? But I can't even keep enough cash in my checking account to pay for the next local yoga workshop I want to take. And so on.

This is all just chatter. The fluctuations of the mind. So I breath in and calm my body, I breathe out and smile. I truly believe that the physical act of smiling creates the corresponding emotion in the mind! Which is why its so nice to cross your eyes at yourself in the morning as you brush your teeth!

The past few weeks I have been participating in a workshop led by my fellow teacher, Kiara Boch called 40 Days to Personal Transformation. I came into the workshop without a strong sense of committment, just my usual easy going nature to try it out, learn something new, and have fun. Well its not fun. Transformation is hard. The level of awareness that I am opening up to is quite challenging. The old, self-defeating tapes grow louder as I begin to recognize them, and try to change them. Have you every noticed that? Every time you try to break a bad habit, it seems to cling to you with increasing strength?

Om shanti shanti shanti

Waning Tide

The full moon came and went this weekend, with a lovely amount of yoga, mindfulness meditition, bloody mary's & board games, gardening and record store amusements!

Saturday night I led a Street Yoga Jam, and had my first opportunity to lead a Partner Yoga class, based on the Acro Yoga partner flows. It was so fun and silly! The number of participants worked out so that everyone had a partner and I was able to float around, leading the movement and transitions. At first I was a bit flustered, as I had expected to be able to partner and call the class based on experience and personal movement. However, the universe provided a better path. It was nice to be able to circle the partners, and use examples of partners "figuring it out" for other pairs to observe. We spent a nice long time warming up, partner stretching, strength building, etc.

As soon as I set us up for some partner flying, the energy was so incredible! All the students were new to Partner Flying, except for a couple of my friends I brought with me that I have flown a couple of times, very briefly. This experienced created a great, wonderful sense of respect for my teachers, the Acro and Mandala Yogis who hold space for such amazing challenges and liberating movement! I felt spread completely thin, and unable to truly support both groups. We split into 2 groups, with 4 people each, which provided a primary spotter and an extra spotter to help keep an eye on alignment and safety. Every was provided a turn to base and fly.

We emphasized safe spotting, clear communication, surrender and trust! What a wonderful way for Street Yoga to share its mission and create a Saturday night event for the adventurous crowd. I made sure even the guys who think they are "too big" to fly got a chance (I'm a strong and persuasive yogi!)

Ending class with the traditional Thai Massage session allowed everyone to leave relaxed, happy and glowing! I know how addictive this community based practice is, and I am excited to share with as many people as possible.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Greenaid : Commonstudio

Greenaid : Commonstudio

Just caught a whiff of this in my inbox this morning! Thank you Land PDX for being so awesome! I sure love Portland.

All week while in San Francisco (for the first time!) I kept remarking about how I was falling in love with a new city, and not ready to go back to Portland's rain. But flying across the climate and geography and arriving to this lush, dense, GREEN wonderland, makes me so happy. And then, to top it off, Portland had the sunniest, cheeriest, happiest spring day yesterday.

I mosied through the parks on my way to work, checking out the joggers, the park knitters, (no cricket games like I saw in SF) and all the wonderful people outside enjoying the day.

As I rolled into the Street Yoga office, our amazing founder Mark came by, and conversation evolved into a brainstorm for Yoga Summer Camp! He said it is meant to be, because that is the second time its come up this week. I exclaimed that Yoga Summer Camp is one of my life goals, and he said ok. Let's do it.....

Satyagraha

One of my favorite scenes from the epic Gandhi, is when his wife and foremost devotee explains to his newest student, that Gandhi took a vow of chastity. Three times. Then finally, made a silent vow, and kept it. When the students asks if he broke it, his wife replied "Not yet :)"

I feel very intimidated by public vows. I completely admire bloggers such as the Reluctant Ashtangi, whom I read daily, who are able to find a deeper personal practice through documenting their progress, and holding themselves publicly accountable. I think it is a measure of my self knowledge that I do not hold myself to rigid expectation, for I know my personality, my past, and how I want to conduct my future. I never want to become dogmatic or closed minded. That said, I also am lazy, and need some discipline!

So perhaps you will see me around these parts a little more in the future.



"Satyagraha is not predominantly civil disobedience, but a quiet and irresistible pursuit of truth"

Running away to the Circus

Finally realizing my dream of joining the Circus.

Circus Yoga that is! Next weekend I'm headed up to Seattle with some lovely Portland yoginis to attend the Ring One Immersion workshop. I was blessed to receive the Social Change Scholarship in order to aid me on this path I have found myself walking. It is so amazing to finally feel myself falling into the life I never knew I would live. I was never one of those kids that planned to be a doctor, or teacher, or anything in particular. I loved graphic design so working for a magazine seemed like a gorgeous fit, but it never truly materialized, and I never felt the impetus to drive me there. But yoga. Oh yoga, how it has led me to places I never knew I could find!

Circus Yoga is also coming to Portland for a very special Street Yoga workshop! Its open to all Portland yogis who want to learn more about Street Yoga and experience the very special fun of yoga play.

{Check out the write up on Circus Yoga in Yoga Journal this month!!}

Now it is time to embrace my inner clown.

partner yoga

children, originally uploaded by AcroYogi.

The most exciting part of partner yoga is sharing.
At friday night's Mandala Yoga and Acro Jam I learned a Therapeutic sequence with Flying Whale.
{ http://www.yogabhoga.com/class-descriptions/ }

I extremely excited for a new Sunday night Acro Yoga class, focusing on Thai Massage and Therapeutic Flying. Perhaps the Friday night class is amping up for more acrobatic variations! I love a powerful challenge, and Acro Yoga is definitely something that challenges my focus and endurance.

Circus Yoga is coming to Portland for a Street Yoga & Circus Project volunteer workshop in February. I also registered for their Seattle workshop the weekend before. They spread such a wonderful message of:

Inclusion
Diversity
Courage
Trust
Appropriate Risk
Expansion
•
Collaboration
Cooperation
Democracy
Community-Building
Celebration
Gratitude

We just ordered 2 Flip Cameras for Street Yoga through a non-profit foundation so perhaps there will be video to share soon!

pro-claim

From practicing AcroYoga you may find yourself:

• experiencing more joy
• practicing compassionate communication skills
• cultivating loving kindness (metta)
• taking more risks in your daily life
• making new friends
• building community
• feeling centered
• expanding the full spectrum of your being
• enjoying life as play
• releasing fear
• emabracing the unknown
• surpassing the limitations of the mind
• communing with the divine

-From my new AcroYoga Flight Manual DVD!

acro goddesses

lovely acro yoginis
Rachel Plies , Sujata Shyam, Lila Donnolo
Saraswati, Kali, Lakshmi

{link}

planning a fireside yoga class... wishing for acro. ruminating about thai massage, herbalism...

knitting, planning knitting, procrastinating. my dad converted nearly 100 hours of family video to DVD... watching sister and i jump and ham for the camera in oklahoma, missouri, with family, birthdays, roller skate parties...

fun yoga class this morning. blessings!

Keeping Busy

I have felt quite... busy these days. When I sit down to knit, I start 3 different projects, making little to no progress on each. When I revel in a quite night at home, I find blogs to read, internet TV to watch, things to clean. And while this cleaning and catching up on life is necessary, I am finding it increasingly difficult to just BE. STILL. Its not surprising to observe that my daily sitting practice (whether it is a mantra, mudra, or pranayama) isn't happening. Yoga asana is a constant, but being that my favorite pose is handstand, perhaps I need a bit more grounding. I am also sick again. I am very aware of the positive effect sickness has on my meditation practice. So I try to be thankful when I feel like a booger factory, and spend some time observing the loftier thoughts that cross my mind. Reflecting on eternity, God and such.

The article below from Zen Habits popped up on my Google Reader (since I was impatient with the loading time on another website, and my default multi tasking brain auto piloted and opened up mail/reader/facebook almost before I could blink.

This Christmas, I think its time for a technology fast.

From Darkness to Light

We are experts at denying our experience. Take any habit that doesn’t serve you – compulsively shopping or staying busy, self-judgment, jealousy. If you trace it back to its root, you will find an expectation or feeling you have been avoiding.

These hidden aspects of ourselves thrive when we ignore them, leaving fear, desire, and lack to unconsciously drive our behavior. Once they are illuminated by becoming aware, we see how they operate, and we can make a different choice. No more conflict. No more confusion. Finally, peace.

Unearthing our inner experiences is like treasure hunting. Each one is a breadcrumb leading us out of the wilderness of discontent and into the light of a simple, conscious, lovely way of being. Suffering ends and freedom begins, leaving us available to happiness, wonder, enjoyment, and creativity.

The How-To

Exploring your triggers takes courage and openness. Prepare yourself for the journey by being willing:

• To be honest

• To feel pain but not wallow in it

• To let go of the old and change

• To contemplate a new kind of inner life not beset by distress and disturbance

• To be happy and peaceful

Now, begin to explore. Showing up as a loving presence to yourself is one of the most sane and compassionate things you could ever do.

1. When you are triggered, rather than playing it out in the usual way, stop and breathe.

2. Simply notice the thought patterns, feelings, and bodily sensations that are present. Don’t freak out – just be curious. What are you thinking? What is the energy behind the thoughts? What feelings and physical sensations are present? These questions allow you to become familiar with how your habits work so they no longer control you.

3. Find the most loving place inside you – the soft spot that melts when you encounter puppies, babies, or those most dear to you. Pour this love into the tension and painful feelings. This is the healing balm that untangles the knot.

4. Rinse and repeat every time you are struggling.

5. Move forward in a way that supports your clarity, happiness, and well being.

Example #1: Holding a Grudge

Say that you have been carrying around a grudge for a decade or two. To keep this grudge alive, you must be telling yourself a story about what should and shouldn’t have happened. You feel churned up inside, and your reaction is activated every time you face a person or situation that triggers the memories. This is no way to live.

Your thoughts about what happened are keeping you stuck. Release yourself by letting go of the story and feeling right into the pain. Break it down into its elements – thoughts and physical sensations. This is the experience that’s been plaguing you all along. Love those tender feelings, then go forth with fresh eyes.

This process doesn’t condone what happened, and it has nothing to do with the other person. It’s a choice you make for your peace and happiness.

Example #2: Relationship Problems

How many of us blame the other person for struggles in our relationships? We get caught in the trap of “if only” – if only the other would change, then I will feel more peaceful. This mindset will never solve the problem because you are making your peace dependent on something you can’t control – what other people say and do.

If your relationships bring you stress, make peace with your own reactions. Turn your attention inward to lovingly meet the frustration, disappointment, or fear that is triggered in you. Even though you may not like what you realize, when you accept things as they are, you are at peace. And seeing your role in the problem unlocks the possibility of experimenting with new and compassionate solutions.

Example #3: Habits and Addictions

Maybe you engage in a compulsive pattern that involves your actions, thoughts, or feelings. All challenging habits mask an unexplored emotion, usually fear or sadness.

Do you want to bring ease to your inner world? Stop, breathe, and move your kind attention into the feeling you’ve been avoiding. Love it every time it arises. Then follow Leo’s advice on changing habits, and you are well on your way to freeing yourself.

Can you see the value of becoming aware? Any inner knot can be untangled when you pay attention to it. Start with whatever is troubling you right now, and know that every moment of awareness simplifies.

The process of becoming aware is not a panacea that instantly cures all your ills. But you will notice some changes – space, ease, and, a depth of peace you never knew was possible.

Gail Brenner, Ph.D. is a psychologist who blogs at A Flourishing Life. 

fireside

*

Sitting by the fireside, tonight was the first time in a long time (it seems...) that I haven't had somewhere to go, something to fix, someone to watch, someone to teach, something to cook... you know the drill. "Its always something", right? And even as I hear myself saying those words to people in my life dealing with challenges, struggles, failures, or even the price of success, the acute nature of personal experience leads us to the  somewhat unstoppable feeling that... "I am the only one that feels this way. There is nobody out there like me.**

So... sitting by the fireside, I have every ball of yarn ever purchased surrounding me, a chubby old cat curled around my legs, and several patterns printed out to occupy my evening! Bliss! Joy! Extreme satisfaction. Nancy Ricci's  Getting Purly With It website is the primary provider of entertainment tonight. 

This week in yoga class I spoke about Santosha, or the yogic concept of contentment. I feel that as a byproduct of gratitude, contentment is an effortless state of being. Gratitude inherently requires a bit of effort, we are asked to "Cultivate gratitude", or "Bow the head and find a sense of gratitude." Contentment is just IS. And isn't that all we really want? Just to BE?

*knitwear by Yokoo

**quote by Paul Grilley,  exposer of individuality

while you are reading this

learning:
how to plant bearded iris

a picture of an iris i can doodle in my notes

choosing:

sunday parkways

berries for yoga jam

intending:

river procurement

designing: a new portfolio. a new flow. shifting boundaries

Get Dirty

That's what time it is indeed... mountain biking tomorrow, plus some berry picking, river swimming, yoga-ing, horseshoe tossin, bbq grillin. Then repeat it all the next day! and the next, and the next...

I'm teaching yoga in the park this weekend, join me!

Yoga with Alice

Tuesday and Thursday nights 7:30pm, I will be teaching Vinyasa at Yoga Bhoga!

I am so honored to join my beloved teachers in this space. 

A huge wall of windows let in amazing summer sunlight, and the studio is so serene.

1028 SE Water Avenue #265 

Portland, Oregon 97214

More details coming soon.... check here for yoga related bits!

migration

Jam packed * fun fizzled * mossy meadows * weekend warriors * good times with my best bud T *

I bought many vegetables but had trouble finding time or energy to cook them. Travis made use of the spring onions for a killer grilled cheese. Finally Sunday night I buckled down and stir fried some baby bok choy, carrots, radishes, red cabbage, brussel sprouts, and onions. I had so much cooking inspiration this week, but its spilling over into next week! Perhaps some baking tonight of the strawberry rhubarb kind...

The camera tried to join my on our hiking adventure to Punchbowl falls, but alas, decided to rest in the car and take a weekend off. We all need a break sometimes, so I let time and photographic evidence fall by the wayside as I wandered through the forest. Wildflowers and titillated hummingbirds greeted us as the path wove its way along the ravine, bordered on all sides by mountain peaks.

After the hike, T and his cohort found a disc golf course to try out, while my lady companion and I rested in the sun, sprawling near the creek. I intended to crochet, however the yogas took over my limbs, and headstands comprised most of my creekside time.

We then ventured to a new brewery near home, Migration Brewing Co. Such a cute new hangout! Lovely use of garage style door making a wide open dining area. It was a bit windy so we skipped the parking lot patio and took over the sofa area. Portland seems to lack in patio seating, due mostly to the weather. Fortunately Glisan is a relatively low traffic street, which makes for a nice atmosphere. I'll be back to take some pics and sip on their home-made microbrews.


Images: {frolic} - liikennevalo - weheartit - me

13 hour yoga

{halasana by  gosia janik }

My first weekend of One Song's yoga teacher training began today! 6:15 am... wow I was proud of myself biking across the east side in the dusky dawn. Traffic sure was nice! Just me and dump trucks out there.

Before lunch we had a self-led practice and I really pushed myself. I was feeling great and my mind raced with possibilites. Utkataskana to Parvritta parskvakonasana, then taking a bind (my shoulder is on ice now...) Also did a little trikonasna to ardha chandrasana, then revolving to twisted half moon, then lifting up to Virabhadrasana 3. Did my headstand series with some garudasana legs, using a hanuman leg transition. After our potluck on the waterfront, the afternoon was devoted to discussions of Injury Prevention, sequencing, and other yogi things.

Then the day ended with one of Denise's signature vinyasa classes... my bike ride home was slow going. But the amazing explosion of colors on the street is out of control! The dogwoods are blooming, pink and white. The bluebells are coating garden beds, and azaleas and rhododendrons are a solid swath of fuschia and violet. Just check out local photographer Abby's flickr!! *love*

{flowers via abbytrysagain}

Have an amazing weekend!

My freshly planted seeds are sprouting! Leading the race are arugula, lettuce and the wildflowers! I'll take some pics to document their growth.

what I don't need

is another lovely dress

{net-a-porter}




or some adorable sunglasses

{topshop}

a fantastic chandelier

{etsy}

more ruffles

{anthropologie}

crazy awesome sandals

{piperlime}

or more mouths to feed

gah- i can smell their delicious baby fur. save me!

*ps - hope your tax day wasn't too brutal! if you are in portland, there is FREE yoga all day at thebhaktishop!